covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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