if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
