you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
