You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
if only i could text you this smell
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
