im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
