Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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