What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have already put on my inside pants.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize