i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
