he puts the penis in happiness.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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