she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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