Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
