I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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