I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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