I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
