I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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