The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you never un-have a 4some
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
