babies were throwing up all over the place
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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