it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We are two peas in an std pod
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
