She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
