i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
