I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
