Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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