We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
