I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
