My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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