I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
