i think i have two assholes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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