Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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