I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
