I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
