I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
