thus making me awesome and them whores
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
