The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
