dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
