All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My feet surprised me
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