it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
