Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
