Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
