I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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