You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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