I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
