There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
