I wish they made helmets for livers.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Alive.
So much puke
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
