Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
