thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
