I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
