The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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