what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
