I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
