how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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