I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
